Balance
Tips, advice and a real story.
Balance!
What does that mean ? Is it always good and what is the opposite? imbalance unstable ?
Just as a boat needs ballast to weigh down its hull and enable it to sit in the water in a balanced position we too need to find our stabiliser, our anchor in the storm of life our prop, our holder upper!
Finding a Work life balance if you are a Mother with a job, trying to grow a career and care for a family you will need time out for your own sanity.
Being balanced we are told is good for us
A balanced diet
A work life balance
A balanced mind
A balance bank account
What happens if we’re out of balance
Like a spinning top we fall over eventually !
I am going to attempt to address some of the balances needed to manage our very busy lives, coming from a place knowing that I may never have had my life balanced !
How are you feeling ?
Is life spinning out of control and you with it ?
Too many things to do and not enough time or energy ?
If the answer is yes read on !
As a mature lady, mother of three grown up children and grandmother as well as wife to one husband for 39yrs I will share with you some tips, ideas experience and advice .
Firstly , You will probabaly never feel or have your life in complete balance so let’s clear that up straight away.
You will have periods maybe even a decade or more when you feel pulled stretched and wobbly !
It starts as little girls being given tasks or jobs to do then siblings to look after , school work to do, friendships to maintain, it starts off simple but as you know it can soon become complicated as puberty arrives .
Boys on the scene !
Managing emotions ….
That’s what we do manage relationships , careers, study homes, families etc etc
Life can feel like walking a tightrope but how do we manage without falling off the rope ?
BE REALISTIC
Set realistic goals for yourself
My to do list used to be lengthy and I put myself under such pressure to accomplish everything until I began to be kinder to myself and re adjust my expectations of what I could achieve in a day
PRIORITISE
My mothers advice was to prioritise in the order of food and clothes for a busy family the rest you can fit in later.
So if you are a busy mum or a A working dad getting supper ready for the kids, don’t start cleaning the house if you have no clean clothes or food in the fridge !

GOALS
Write down some of your goals for the future
You may want to fit in a holiday or a break
Work towards it start planning,saving researching
You may want to gain new skills look into how you can do it realistically .
Think about ways to save money or cut costs so that you feel you can achieve a treat
SELF CARE
Take care of YOU as well as your little charges or significant others.
Believe me I’ve paid the price for looking after everyone else but neglecting my own health mind and spirit !
Make sure you eat well , try and sleep well and just have little treats or goals throughout the day when you can give yourself five minutes peace or a hot drink maybe a bubble bath or peaceful music session or try a meditation app .
All these little treats will get you through the day or the week .
You may not be able to take a whole week or day off but you could pencil in an hour or two me time when the kids are in bed or at school, or if you’re driving or travelling around.

Life can and may be out of kilter for some time and it takes a lot of energy to balance it back up just like if your boat was capsizing and you all rush to the middle to stop the wobble .
If you see yourself spiralling call a friend , talk to someone close , make adjustments be kind to yourself, don’t listen to the overly critical voice just tell yourself that tomorrow is another day , the toys will still be on the floor and carpet will need hoovering but you’ll get it done in a jiffy tomorrow .
As we close I’ll just share one of my major life adjustments and experiences .

BALANCING ILLNESS
When my three kids were about aged 11,9& 7 I was struck down with a condition called Bells Palsy it meant that one side of my face became paralysed , it was painful made me exhausted and seriously affected my ability to do normal tasks like drive or go out in cold weather , or do sports or have any energy for normal tasks.
It couldn’t of happened at a worse time , we were just moving into a new area taking on our first church in a senior role with lots of responsibilities and readjustments to make for us all, new jobs, schools ,friends, location , pressure was on.
Suddenly I could not attend my job as a special needs teaching assistant in a junior school , I couldn’t take my kids to school or go shopping , quite frankly it seemed a mess, but I had to carry on and find a way through psychologically , physically and mentally.
My life was suddenly out of balance and spiralling out of control .
I was at home – housebound for weeks, my husband thankfully re adjusted his time table and took the kids to school and we tried to keep things as normal as possible.
The kids were adjusting to Mummy not being well and assumed helpful roles.
But I felt guilty and annoyed I was only 36 years of age how long would this go on and when would it improve ? Why had it happened to me ??
There was virtually no medical help available and nothing on the internet then. A kind friend who was a physiotherapist helped with some information she found but I was battling in the dark and nothing was improving.
How am I going to manage? I’m moving into a high profile role and have to be on form but all I want to do is hide in my bedroom under the duvet !
Ever felt like that?
It should be the best time of my life , the pinnacle of what we’ve been working and studying towards and I’m being robbed and so was my family.
I could only cry out in prayer to Jesus as He was my only hope , there was no medical help so prayer it had to be.
I got family and friends rallied to pray for me and the college and churches we were serving also rallied in prayer and support.
So what seemed impossible became possible !
I wasn’t healed instantly still havnt been – but have had major changes in increments of improvements.
Our friends came to help us move and pack, we received help with the kids and meals were cooked for us . My Headteacher gave me indefinite leave and was so supportive , I had cards for my students and lots of love from my family.
All of that shows me that God does exist in people …. when you’re down, it’s an opportunity for others to help you back up .
To show they care and they will be your prop, your anchor your help.
I eventually found some balance back, I had to accept that I wouldn’t smile balanced again or close my eye completely, my chances of reading the news at Ten were limited!
But I found a new grace a new gift of understanding others, slowing life down and listening to other people and their struggles it made me and has come to make me more compassionate .
What seemed out of balance out of control I have used to help others who feel out of balance and out of control, it’s given me a bigger heart and enabled me to counsel others.
They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and it does!we obviously want to be spared pain , difficulties and problems but it’s how we approach them that show us what we’re made of or who we can become.
I hope that you find your ballast and get your balance right .
Look at what’s throwing you out at the moment and make the rest adjustments , it’s ok to ask for help as well, we all need to help one another .
From one pearl to another xxx